Mathematical Anomaly on Weight Loss Journey

As of today, I have lost both 63.2 pounds and 108.2 pounds, but not 163.2 pounds.

A riddle for the ages, but I’ll explain.

I started my current regiment on September 8, 2016 at a weight of 245 pounds. My highest know weight taken at doctor’s office sometime in 2009 was in the 290s. I don’t know exactly how much, because who wants to think about it when you are resigned to being too heavy because you don’t see another option? Please remember, I’m 4 feet 9 inches tall. Your mental picture should adjust a bit to shorter and more round like a fun-house mirror.

It means something to me that despite my struggles with weight fluctuations since I originally went from 290+ to 217 in August of 2010, I never went all the way back to 290 pounds. (Pro-tip: Get rid of clothes that are too big; Give yourself no where to go without admitting defeat.) I’ve already beaten the odds which say the vast majority of dieters regain what they lost within 2 years. I consider myself to have a leg up in this leg of the journey where the real goal isn’t the losing but the maintaining a healthy weight, reversing and preventing disease, and building my fitness levels. Deep down, I don’t consider “thin” one of my major goals. But excess weight is a health risk, especially when you have the underlying health challenges I do. Weight is also easy to measure.

As of this morning, I weigh 181.8 pounds.

While I don’t advocate for BMI as a measure of health as it only takes height and weight into account, it can be a useful comparison tool. I’m currently 39.2 on the BMI chart. At 290, I was 62.8. At 245, 53.

My goal, because it helps to have one, is 145 pounds. I picked it rather arbitrarily as I don’t have any concept of what my adult body at a normal weight would be like. Plus, it’s half of my highest known weight. It’s entirely possible I’ll won’t consider myself finished at that point, but I suspect it will be time to start working out in earnest

I was around the size I am now (weight unknown) in high school. I am not as muscular in my legs as I was back then when I walked everywhere, but I’m okay with that as part of the plan is *not* exercising in order to avoid bringing up a desire for more food. Since it’s impossible to outrun your mouth, this has proven an effective strategy. Have I lost muscle? No doubt. But what I lost was marbled with fat like a fine cut of steak. Once I reach my goal, I’ll be working to rebuild lean muscles as well as firm and tone which should be easier without the excess me. I have some unorthodox goals but being tasty when grilled is not one of them. Sorry, you are going to have to stick me in the slow cooker with some barbecue sauce.

I have begun in the last few weeks to take walks again. There was a period a few years back when Chris had to drop me off an hour and a half before my shift started so I got in the habit of walking three miles in the morning before work and usually a mile on my lunch. I got to where I was consistently hitting 20 minutes per mile and sometime squeaking out a bit faster. I got addicted to the feeling of that third mile when adrenaline starts pumping hard. I’m not pushing hard these days as my endurance and stamina aren’t what they once were, but it still feels good to put my headphones on and move.

Accomplishments matter. Less to impress others than to convince myself I’m capable. Being able to say I’ve lost 100 pounds and am a mere 37 pounds from my goal is a big deal well beyond the realm of the scale.

TO CAFFEINE OR NOT TO CAFFEINE?

I sit here at my desk, newly placed in the dining room since I moved our sewing table into the office, drinking coffee while I do some typing in an attempt to write something publishable.

When we got back to South Carolina after our Seattle trip, I was determined to cut out all caffeine. Not forever, but long enough to rest my dependance. What use, I feel, is caffeine if it doesn’t give you a buzz?

I grew up without caffeine in the house, started drinking Mt. Dew and Coke in my early teens, coffee once I graduated high school. I am still more sensitive to high volumes of coffee than most people I know.
I’ve gone off caffeine maybe three times since I was twenty. That first time, it was a pot, plus a fancy coffee, plus several cans of Coke every single day habit. I was jittery, sleepless and burned out. When I went cold turkey off it all, I couldn’t feel my head for three days, but then I was fine. A couple months later, I started back on moderate caffeine use.

I got back in the day to day habit of so much coffee, but I do tend to enjoy one or more caffeinated beverages daily or nearly daily. It’s not always for the caffeine. I love the comfort of tea and Diet Coke is my favorite refreshment. We don’t own a coffee maker, but I invested in a $40 electric kettle after the $12.99 died in six months of heavy use. Tea has so little caffeine, I tend not to count it. I have access to fancy coffee at work and our apartment complex office has a Keurig I avail myself of around once a week. This machine is the source of cup I’m currently enjoying.

Now, I’d love to report this cup was my first after we got back from Seattle nearly a month ago, but I must report my “break” from caffeine lasted only four days. I could barely function for the fatigue and whole-body-migraine. I felt a bit like the day before the worst day of the flu. I left work early one day after throwing up. Worse, I knew 20 ounces of Diet Coke would fix what ailed me.

With only two weeks until our Klingon wedding and plenty to do, plus normal things like work, food prep, dishes and laundry, I changed my game plan to include one caffeinated beverage per day. I’d been using much more in the months leading up to the trip. When I down my blood pressure medication with Diet Coke, I feel unhealthy and stupid.

I don’t foresee a time in the near future where I can detox without interfering with preforming my daily functions. Not going overboard is the best I can attempt in an effort to both be good to my body and keep it doing the things I need it to do. Like walking and thinking.

For now, I’m waiting for today’s coffee to hit my blood stream and switch to water for the afternoon.