October 26th, 2012
I originally published this short piece on my old blog on August 16, 2007. As it happens, it was the day before my twenty-seventh birthday. My life has changed more than it stayed the same since I wrote it – not just in the peripherals like the addition of things like sewing machines and karaoke machines but the very essence of how I live my life – yet it still rings true. Hope you enjoy:
It’s a bit of circular logic, but it’s been true my whole life.
Disclaimer: I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be on either end of this dichotomy.
Here’s the deal:
I am (have always been) different from my peers in most major categories (physical and life experience being the building blocks on which my weirdness is built);
THEREFORE, I tend to fear rejection;
HOWEVER, I like myself very much (I’m a LEO and MOM thinks I’m great);
THEREFORE, I tend to think my unusual likes, interests, opinions, ect. are great;
SO I tend to be a bit of SNOB;
BECAUSE most of my peers are not more like me;
BUT I still desire to have those same peers ACCEPT me;
THEREFORE no matter how WONDERFUL I think I am, I am shy about the REAL INNER me;
BECAUSE I don’t want to be REJECTED any of the people that I think I’m SUPERIOR to in some way.